The SpongeBob SquarePants Oracle by David Lewman

There comes a time in everyone’s life when we need a little guidance.  A time when the choices before us seem too big to tackle alone.  When life’s questions demand answers that we just don’t have.  For those times, there is The SpongeBob SquarePants Oracle.  

Easy to use and often impossible to understand, The SpongeBob SquarePants Oracle is one part party game, one part Magic Eight Ball, and nine parts nonsense.  Here are a few examples of the spot-on advice being given away by the denizens of Bikini Bottom.

Me: Should I have pizza for dinner again?
SBSPO: Wait ‘til I finish my ice cream!”  

Okay, SpongeBob, whatever you say.

Me: Are my socks too ostentatious?
SBSPO: Remember: When in doubt, pinkie out.

Thanks for the advice, Patrick.  Does that mean yes?

Me: Is aspartame rotting my brain?
ABSPO: Keep trying!

Will do, Spongebob!  Wait, what?!

Lavishly illustrated with images of the show’s stars (and advice-givers), The SpongeBob SquarePants Oracle is a fun, stress-free read.  Unless you are in dire need of good advice. --Regan Schwartz